And now, time for Crazed Pre-Breakfast Ranting Theatre.

If you get to know me, and you see a lot of me, as much as, say, my parents have, you may think that I act like I’m two.

Well, you know f’in what? Maybe I’m fine with that. Maybe it’s telling that I even CAN be like that. Maybe I’m going to be 25 and still act like I’m two. Maybe I’m going to be 50 and still act like I’m two. Maybe I’m going to be 100 and still act like I’m two.

Because honestly, friendship, compassion, trustworthiness, tact, all those other things? They are hallmarks of maturity and they are NONEXISTENT. I dare you to find ANY true examples of those things in anyone younger than 35, as opposed to attempts to ape those things because they KNOW they’re hallmarks of maturity. EVERYONE is, deep down, developmentally two in America, from the businessowners to the politicians to the people on cable news to just about everyone on the Internet, and my twoness simply extends to my reactions to stresses. Heck, if anything I’m MORE mature than EIGHTY PERCENT OF MY CONTEMPORARIES AND FIFTY PERCENT OF MY ELDERS. I’ve been thinking about changing Da Blog’s masthead to “Raising the Internet’s IQ every day”. (Right now? Probably not.)

(Because I know everyone on the Internet says “don’t write anything you might want to take back later” – which is precisely the reason I’m writing this, to serve as a control on my ability to take it back – I’d advise anyone reading to read the “about me” posts from the beginning, including the very first post in the history of Da Blog. I commonly use Da Blog in the aftermath of blow-ups to write ranting screeds that are important to read if you want to really know me but shouldn’t be held against me just because I make them public in the heat of anger and everyone else doesn’t. Come to think of it, I should write more about the workplace’s idiotic standards of perfectionism at some point. And I fancy myself a perfectionist, but the difference is that I attempt to challenge everyone to approach perfection and the workplace just hires the person who’s the best at hiding their imperfections. Actually, what about our entire culture‘s obsession with perfectionism? It’s easier than ever to prove that there is not and has never been anyone that fits our mold for an ideal role model yet we nitpick more than ever.)

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